What to Do When Things Fall Apart

04 Jun 2020

The severity of the situation doesn’t matter; when things fall apart there are three initial steps you can take to start restoring security and order to your life. Conventional wisdom says, “Pick up the pieces of your life.” That approach is reactive and negative and can compound feelings of hopelessness. Try this instead when things fall apart.

Remember Who You Are
Your strength comes from a firm foundation. Your foundation is knowing who you are at the soul level. Before you look for solutions to your problems, affirm who you are. Think about it. Journal about it. Talk to a trusted friend or mentor about it. A tree cannot withstand heavy wind and rain without strong roots. Your roots — your foundation — is your true self at the soul level.

Think Optimistically
Think good and it will be good. When things fall apart, it can be hard to see a way out from under the rubble. “Think good” isn’t just about sunshiny optimism. It means having faith in your Creator, knowing that you are never alone. “Think good” means looking at all of your internal and external resources and finding ways to use them. Your thoughts, if they’re good, will propel you to take action.

Ask for Help
Asking for help has two benefits: One is that you might get not only the help that you need, but that new doors, doors that you didn’t even know about, could open. The other is that you will not feel alone. Isolation is the most devastating part of times when things fall apart. But just knowing that you are not alone can give you hope.

— Rabbi Simon Jacobson